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From the fear of loneliness to inner peace

I heard someone say that our biggest problem is that we can't sit alone without distractions. There is truth to this statement however it can be misunderstood. When people are uncomfortable with themselves, they seek outside distractions to fill their emptiness. As human beings, we all have an inner emptiness that looks like darkness. Our response to this emptiness as children is that we cried and clung to our mother for attention to fulfil our inner emptiness. Of course, our mom gave us her undivided attention driven by her motherly nature and the hormones that make her prioritise her children over her needs. Over time those hormones fade away and the attention is withdrawn from us and we begin to feel that inner emptiness again only then that no one is there to fill it all the time. As people grow up this inner pain grows into different forms: unacceptance of self (insecurity) or hate for others (anger). Whether people respond to this pain either by anger or sadness depends on a lot of factors that are quite complex. But the question is where does this feeling come from and how do we deal with it?

Well, that is what Sigmund Freud asked who is still considered the father of psychology despite the many criticisms he has had. Freud thinks that the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world are formed in the first 7 years of our life and it’s hard and even impossible to change these as we age. In many cases, his observation was because as a pioneering therapist, he has seen many people who repeated the same patterns as children no matter how much support they receive. Psychologist believes that our fears are born from the traumas that we have received in our lives. This is why in almost every therapy people dive into the past to uncover those experiences that have left a wound in us. I don’t believe this is the full story though. It is true that traumas do affect us and this is not a point of argument as even neuroscientists can show evidence of people differences in the brains of those who grow up with abuse and those who don’t. My argument is that our pain isn’t born from the painful experiences we receive as children in fact it is born the moment we are born. I believe that pain is the pain of having a body which separates ourselves and our creator. Before we were materialized, we were all souls that were directly connected to and fed by our source. Having a human body creates a separation between the two worlds of spirit and material. This is a fancy way of saying that our fear is really just loneliness to god’s energy (Our original source). I too was born with this feeling of pain that would never go away. I did have my fair of abuse and traumas. However, I also realize that even if my childhood was fun and loving I still would have that inner emptiness. In a sense, I was born with a sixth sense. I was very connected to my own inner world which made me realize that most people around me were living their world to distract themselves from what is within. Is it really scary to go within I used to think to myself. I grew up in a very violent country where aggression and anger were the norm inside and outside my house. There were no glimpses of peace and no one even know it existed. I somehow knew that people’s anger and aggressions were signs that they were disconnected from themselves. I was constantly told to be careful and to be (Smart) which meant to be more aggressive. I remember going to the shop was a battle. I used to buy groceries for my mom and I used to be chased by a group of boys that stole money from me several times and beat me up. But my confusion grew as I observed that most of these people prayed and connected to God so why did they still have so much anger inside their hearts? Are they not connected to God properly or is praying not the answer to what is going on? As I grew up, I realized that our emotional pain grows with us if we are not careful and becomes our story. Forget about connection to God(light) if we are surrounded by pain and suffering (. I believe our biggest test in this lifetime is to always remember our internal connection to Our source and enhance it and live off it. If we were souls without our bodies this connection is automatic but now, we have bodies and are material this connection needs nurturing. The word for stillness in Arabic is SKOON. It’s a beautiful word and I have somehow been connected to this word which kept me strong through all the traumas. Skoon can be used when a child is crying and somehow stops crying when he received his mother’s milk, the anxious child is now still and feels safe. I believe that once you know the truth of your connection to your source you also will go to the state of Skoon and the fear inside will subside and will be met by the enteral love of god which is a million times more than your mother.

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